Fiat.

Switching to Wordpress

2010-03-26T06:32:00.000-07:00

Hello, peeps!

Just a quickie note to say I'm setting up shop through Wordpress - I just like it's layout and usability better. :)

I'm "doing it right" and going to town getting it all together - the About page, the Pictures, the Stuff. I haven't posted yet, so am not yet including a link, but will when it's ready for everybody to come have at it!

I really LIKE this blogging thing. Who knew? ;-)

Pondering: My Body as My Ally

2010-03-23T07:12:00.000-07:00

So I've been working through The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year. I've been at it slooooowly, as I like to savor the moments and really let it all sink it. The other thing I've been doing is doing it randomly. I open said book, I find a question that my brain feels up to sinking it's teeth into, and have at it.

Last night's question: If I created my week with my body as my ally, taking into consideration it's needs, what would I do differently?

How often I ignore my bodily needs! So instead of sitting there in a haze wondering where to start, I rather just asked my body: "Body [yes, I addressed it, feeling kinda stupid, but it WORKS] - Body, what do YOU need?"

Eventually, these were the responses:

A new bed [we're currently sleeping on a mattress on the floor & it's MIGHTY uncomfortable]
A different pillow [something with more neck support]
More exercise [strengthen my back muscles so I'm better able to lug my toddler & do chores AND feel alright]
get the chipped tooth fixed [check! Have an appointment later this morning with that very purpose!]
line up an appointment for a massage/spa day [where'd THAT come from?!]
get in to the chiropractor [I have ongoing/chronic neck problems that I tend to neglect]
sit & do nothing occasionally [hate even typing this one out!]
take better care of my pregnancy-acne :-/
get my hair cut!

I was surprised at how much "came out"! It all seems rather doable though, once it's in writing. When it's all up in my head it tends to get VERY overwhelming. Do you find self-care overwhelming? If you asked your body the same question, what would it say?

Sub-note:
After reading Angela's post from the other day (regarding her temptation to tan & her kick-A methode de la resistance!), I began to wonder:

Do I dye/color/highlight my hair for the same reason? To cover up my insecurities?

Should I take a similar approach and say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: my hair is beautiful in it's natural color?

This is SCARY for me. Will be weighing this today while in the dentist's chair I'm sure. :-0

Appreciating the little things in life

2010-03-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Saturday night my tooth decided to chip in half after all.

At least it's not causing me active pain anymore. I'm pretty sure the thing is like, totally dead.

The COOL aspect of it all, if one looks to the bright side, is that my smile may have the chance of being straightened out. If they pull the molar, it leaves SPACE for the rest of my (crowded) teeth!

See that irksome front tooth? Wouldn't it be lovely to have it nice and straight! It's stuck out like that since upper grade school...

My sister & I, February 2010

Anyhow.

Sunday we went over to my Mom & Dad's to celebrate Dad's birthday. The sun decided to shine (HUZZAH!!) so we went outdoors for a little while. For dinner we dined on prime rib, slow smoked for hours on the Big Green Egg. Scrumptious isn't a good enough word!

Chloe. "Let's play, Mom!"

Prime rib. Succccccculent!

Food, The Enjoyment of (and a toothy update)

2010-03-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

So I was able to get in with a dentist yesterday. He temporarily fixed the problem - even though it still hurts if I chew on that side, I can now CHEW, at least on the right side, so I am a very happy camper. :-)

Lately I've been working on actually enjoying my meals. The idea first came to me from this fantastic post here. Although I practice intuitive eating ("what sounds good? Am I hungry? How hungry? For what?") I rarely actually just let go and enjoy what's in front of me.

Since I was unable to chew these last couple days, it really showed me how much I do actually enjoy eating, as well as how much I try to ignore and avoid the fact that I do!

Enjoying food has always made me feel guilty in the past. Now, I'm working to overcome that. I've reminded myself these last three meals (dinner last night, breakfast, lunch today) - Enjoy it, Lindsey. Just relax and enjoy it a little. :-)

I think enjoyment requires a couple of things:
1.) That you're somewhat hungry. Not too much, not too little.
2.) That you're "tuned in" to the fact that you ARE eating.
3.) That you LIKE what you're eating, and
4.) That you LET GO and enjoy what's in front of you.

For newbies like me, I need to hit the refresh button several times through each meal, and remind myself of the above. I do like this dish, I don't need to stress about x, y, or z right now.

I suppose it's working, because I was looking forward to breakfast so much I forgot to picture it beforehand. Here's the remainder. :-) It was originally two eggs on a full piece of multigrain toast. Luuuuurve toast!

(Unpictured snack: organic pear.) :-)

And lunch was leftover corned beef with a yummy salad & a Thomas multigrain English muffin. I followed it up with a hot cuppa Moroccan mint tea. :-)

Hubby is off work soon & we plan on doing more around the house! Whee!

My LUCK. >:-(

2010-03-19T06:28:00.001-07:00

To give a bit of background...

Last summer I had to have an emergency root canal performed on one of my upper left molars. Not fun, precious, no (as in, I couldn't talk or get up off the couch for two days following). Thanks to our LOVELY insurance, we were unable to get a cap/crown put on the root canal. You got it... I've been walking around with toothpicks ever since. :-/ I can barely chew on that side anyway, but sometimes even when I don't, food ends up in that tooth. It's bothersome, worrisome, etc. etc. etc. (are you totes grossed out yet? Just wait!)

Well, yesterday I went to chew the occasional piece of gum. *CRACK*... the inside of aforementioned molar chipped UP into my gums. Shooting pain, the works. ARGH. Now I can't chew! Since 2:00 yesterday afternoon I have tried to chew a few different things (Larabar, banana, you know, stuff I consider "soft") but the shooting pain hits me each time. Like, right-behind-the-eye-type-of hits me. Ouch. I am totally beside myself, mentally & physically.

See, since we've relocated, we haven't really needed to establish dental relations yet, so we don't have a dentist lined up. (Admittedly, I needed to establish said relations, but neglected to do so. Still working on the Self-Care aspect of life, 'kay?) Anyhow.

My mom's dentist can't see me til Tuesday at 11:15.

Today I'm going to call a whole slew of dentists that accept our insurance, in a wild-eyed attempt to rectify things as quickly as possible.

Meantime, I AM STARVING. I NEED HELP! I am really NOT a liquids person. I prefer to EAT my calories. >:-( I have never done smoothies except once or twice - they didn't fill me up then, really... I don't do soups unless they're chunky, usually... boy, this is challenging my "food rules", eh?! MAKING me think outside the box.

My biggest fear is that ED will creep in and use this to my demise. I am determined not to let this happen. So any & all suggestions as to how to keep the hunger at bay for the next few days (even, hours) would be so greatly appreciated!

The Exercise Mental Block, Part 2

2010-03-18T05:41:00.001-07:00

I've been exercising the brain cells rather than the body on this topic, admittedly. (Shall I be corny and say - I feel the burn? Yeah.)

Before I was in grade school, I was in tap & ballet class for a little while. It was truly the experience of a lifetime. I was only three but I still remember most of it quite fully! I LURVED my tap shoes. With a passion. And I adored performing. The troop put on a Christmas program that year, and it was with utter abandon that I went on stage with each group - regardless of my teacher's attempts to restrain me. I just wanted to get out there and DANCE.

Hmmm. Maybe there's something to this.

Cuz ya know, I still love to move to music. I love to get in the groove and shake it all out. I do feel totally free and unfettered - so long as I'm dancing by myself (partnering freaks me out. Must be something about control there).

Now if I can only overcome the Mental Block that I have regarding getting to do this kind of fun stuff again, maybe I can make some headway.

This Mental Block includes
-living in the country (like, we're 45 minutes from the closest "city")
-being a SAHM to a toddler
-pregnancy
-generalized fear & anxiety about starting something new
-self-defeating thoughts like, "you never finish anything anyway"
-money! Am I worth it??
etc. etc. etc.

I know that DVDs are an option but my "zebra thinking" says, yeah but, yeah but, you learn best from in-person; you don't have the perseverance to keep up by yourself; how BORING is it to learn dance (or whatnot) from a DVD?!; where's the performance, eh?, etc.

So um, there's my ramble for this morning...

The Exercise Mental Block, Part 1

2010-03-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

This week, Angela at Oh She Glows is presenting a series of tips that helped her towards beautiful, lovely health. Oooh-la-la, ladies and gentlemen, I'm looking forward to the rest of them if yesterday's was any sign of what's to come. :-)

Health Tip #1: Have Fun With Your Health!

I posted a comment (amid the myriad comments) regarding exercise. I have a real-live fear of exercise; I can't seem to find the fun in it. So I posted: just HOW does one find exercise fun? Angela so kindly replied! :-)

I think you need to find out what activities you enjoyed as a child…those activities are often clues as to what our passions really are.

Um, duh.

So needless to say I spent the rest of the evening racking my brain as I could barely remember *what* activities I did do as a kid. See, I was the shortest and the smallest in my class until high school (when I FINALLY grew)... I was also "blessed" with short legs for my build. On top of all that I also had asthma (medicated, but it still affected me). All of this led to being slow when it came to tag, dodge ball, relay racing, etc; I was always the last picked for teams and I was teased for not being athletic. 'Course, all through grade school "athletic" also meant "cool" and more often than not, "skinny". I was confident when it came to spelling, reading, history, English, arithmetic, etc... but sports? Forget it. I was never good enough - so I quit early (in reality, I think asthma had something to do with that decision as well.)

It took me a couple hours last night to get over all THOSE memories to actually remember that there WERE activities that I loved, regardless of what people said to me or about me behind my back.

I loved anything that felt freeing, liberating, exhilarating. I think that is still what I want to feel when I exercise/work out. I want to feel FREE, like I'm leaving the cares of the world behind me for a short time at least.

"Back then" I was enamored of:
-bicycling (all summer long. In between books, of course)
-jump rope!!!
-roller skating (I would've died for roller blades, but Dad always said they were too dangerous)...
-trampoline!
-basketball (there was nothing that could compare to being alone on the court, though, getting to dribble the ball full-length all the way down. SO FUN.)

I'm scared of competitive sports/team sports, mainly because I AM competitive but don't feel I have ANY athleticism to my name - that I'm setting myself up to fail and be mocked.

There's a lot more to this, but I'm still ruminating on what the deal is and how to approach it. :-)

Photo of the day

2010-03-16T20:37:00.000-07:00

Just my tot. The one & only, for now. :-)

The weekend, and this week

2010-03-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

So I had a wonderful, wonderful time this weekend. Alice in Wonderland is a movie to be reckoned with! I've never seen anything in 3D before. 'Twas truly an experience of it's own kind. I'll never forget it. The whole thing just reeked (in a good way!) of Tim Burton, and to be honest, there wasn't enough Johnny Depp in it for my taste. ('Course I rate myself as like, his #1 Fan. LOL.) All in all, it was splendid! (though it did take my hubby & I like, three hours to return to reality. Ha.)

Before we went to the flick, however, we dined at Cracker Barrel (delish chicken'n'dumplins, lemme tell ya!), then went to B&N (like, our favorite place in the world)... I've been looking at a couple books lately, which I finally splurged on - The Life Organizer, A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year and 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food. Both appear to hold lots of promise. We shall see. :-)

Yesterday, being Monday, I was all out of whack. Tired from the weekend (which yes, as well, included hanging pictures and rearranging furniture), just disgruntled and viewing life from the general wrong side of the bed. Argh.

But, it passed without too much ado. Today's a new day! I'm off at some point to Mom's, to talk garden ideas & just visit.

Cheerio!

Excited

2010-03-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

My lovely sleep-in Saturday slumber was disrupted by an idiot bird banging madly against our living room window. Poor thing. In fact, it's still at it - I just have to keep walking over and reminding the poor fool of my presence. I can't fathom why it'd keep at it for so long (it's been over an hour now!)... it must have SUCH a headache! :-/

So this weekend is the first weekend in over a month that I have my hubby to myself! Whether it has been some kind of extracurricular activity (Boy Scouts, skiing, etc), or being on call for work, or actually working, I haven't had a Saturday with him in at least five weeks... if not more. Honestly, it's been toooooo long.

Today we plan on taking a huge load of old moving boxes and miscellaneous junk to the dump in my bro's truck (VERY EXCITING!) and then hopefully getting some pics hung up and some furniture rearranged. :-)

Tomorrow afternoon we're off on a date to see Tim Burton's Alice! And boy, am I excited!!!

Writer's block

2010-03-12T13:11:00.000-08:00

So every time I sit down to blog, I meet this WALL. On the wall is written, "what are you going to say?"

I have no idea. Actually, I have all kinds of ideas that hit me while I'm doing laundry; driving in the car; talking to the hubs; trying to fall asleep... but then I hop online and they all go POOF in the name of-
~worries what people will think
~worries that I won't eventually generate traffic (in my book, web-friends!)
~in other words, worries that my blog will be boring & ergo, unpopular
~worries that I won't know how to word what I want to say in a manner that'll be fun and "stick"!
~worries that I will get on a soapbox rather than just "talk"...
~worries that I won't be unique and will begin to just imitate all those other blogs out there... (last thing I want to do is blend in, but I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb either!)

So there. I put it out for the 'sphere to see - all my silly little-big worries about this newbie blog that has no archive, no pictures, no blogroll, no readers.

YET. :-)

Internet

2010-03-04T05:27:00.000-08:00

It really helps, when one starts a blog, to have a continuous source of internet at one's home.

As of yesterday, we are "proud owners" of a Verizon modem! Whee! I get to blog! And check my email! And stuff!

Why "The Fiat Chronicles"?

2010-02-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

I've struggled with eating disordered behavior & thoughts.

I've struggled with bad body image "issues" & degrading self-talk.

I'm, as yet, still a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a lover & a friend.

And I don't deserve the dish of disgust I've kept on serving myself!

So I say: FIAT. Let it be done (with). Let it be. Let it go. Let life.

This blog is here to keep me accountable and help me discover new & better ways to stop attaching emotions to food.

I hope with all my heart that this blog can become a source of information & ah-ha! moments for many, many men & women - the world over. Cuz I aim high like that.

So let it begin. :-)